The Gray Family of Durants Neck, Perquimans County, NC

Dempsey Gray is my most recent brick wall. He was born around 1812, likely in Perquimans County, NC. Various records show other Gray men who are potentially connected to Dempsey. This will start with Dempsey’s son, Benjamin Franklin Gray, and work back through those potential connections. Benjamin can be viewed in my online family tree here.

DNA

A male Gray descendent of Dempsey (and Benjamin) recently took a BigY dna test at FamilyTreeDNA, which shows a haplogroup of I-Y139745. He was placed in a group with two other test takers who have Deliverance Gray listed as their paternal ancestor. Deliverance lived in Pasquotank County, NC and migrated to Tennessee in the late 1700s. If you’re a Gray male who has taken a Y dna test at Family Tree DNA, consider joining the Gray surname project. If you’re already a member, have you upgraded to the Big Y test ?

Benjamin Franklin Gray

Benjamin Franklin Gray, born in 1852 in Perquimans, NC, is well documented, along with his two wives and children. There is a little bit of information available for his parents, who appear to have died when Benjamin was very young. Benjamin and Mary had one child, Noah, who died young. Benjamin and Sallie had seven children, Annie, Johnnie, Charlotte, Dempsey, Benjamin Jr, Willie and Lessie. Several of his children’s names appear to be family names – Charlotte, Dempsey, Benjamin Jr, and possibly Johnnie, maybe more. Records providing relevant information about Benjamin include:

• Benjamin’s death certificate⁽¹⁾“North Carolina Deaths, 1906-1930,” database with images, FamilySearch (https://familysearch.org/ark:/61903/1:1:F3W2-5FH : 20 February 2021), Bicy F. Graep, 19 Aug 1927; citing New Hope, Perquimans, North Carolina, reference 265, State Department of Archives and History, Raleigh; FHL microfilm 1,907,334., listing his parents as Dempsey Gray and unknown. Both Benjamin and Dempsey’s birthplace is listed as Perquimans, NC.
• Benjamin’s 1877 marriage license to Mary Sawyer⁽²⁾“North Carolina, County Marriages, 1762-1979 ,” database with images, FamilySearch (https://familysearch.org/ark:/61903/1:1:QKJQ-M9FS : 9 March 2021), Benjamin Gray and Mary Sawyer, 25 Jan 1877; citing Perquimans, North Carolina, United States, p. , North Carolina State Archives Division of Archives and History; FHL microfilm 1,409,451., listing his parents as Dempsey Gray with no mother provided.
• Benjamin’s 1881 marriage license to Sallie Ivey⁽³⁾“North Carolina, County Marriages, 1762-1979 ,” database with images, FamilySearch (https://familysearch.org/ark:/61903/1:1:QKJ3-1R4K : 9 March 2021), Benjamin Gray and Sallie Ann Ivey, 28 Nov 1881; citing Perquimans, North Carolina, United States, p. , North Carolina State Archives Division of Archives and History; FHL microfilm 1,416,975., listing his parents as Dempsey Gray and Charlotte Gray.
• 1860 Census showing 10 year old Benj Gray⁽⁴⁾“United States Census, 1860”, database with images, FamilySearch (https://familysearch.org/ark:/61903/1:1:MD6S-MG5 : 18 February 2021), Benj Gray in entry for Joshua Sawyer, 1860. living in the Joshua Sawyer household in Durants Neck, Perquimans, NC
• 1870 Census showing 20 year old Benjamin Gray⁽⁵⁾“United States Census, 1870”, database with images, FamilySearch (https://www.familysearch.org/ark:/61903/1:1:MW8R-MP3 : 29 May 2021), Benjamin Gray in entry for Henry Hollowell, 1870. living in the Henry Hollowell household in Nixonton, Pasquotank, NC. Benjamin is listed as a Sailor and Henry is listed as Master of Vessel.
• 1880 Census showing 31 year old Benjamin Gray⁽⁶⁾“United States Census, 1880,” database with images, FamilySearch (https://www.familysearch.org/ark:/61903/1:1:MCXN-4SR : 14 January 2022), Benjamin Gray, New Hope, Perquimans, North Carolina, United States; citing enumeration district , sheet , NARA microfilm publication T9 (Washington, D.C.: National Archives and Records Administration, n.d.), FHL microfilm ., living with his first wife and young son, in New Hope. He is listed on the census right before John Colston.

Gray Family Cemetery

There’s a small Gray cemetery behind a house in Hew Hope, Perquimans, NC. This 1906 USGS topo map shows the area, with the general location of this cemetery, along with the nearby Wilson-Ivey-Dale-Harrell cemetery. The Wilson-Ivey-Dale-Harrell cemetery is the resting place of other relatives of Benjamin, including one of his sons, his wife’s brother and (at least) a couple of Benjamin’s grandchildren.

The approximate locations of the two cemeteries has also been marked on this 1952 aerial imagery of the area. The roads and land use shown in 1952 have not changed much today, though there are more houses.

Benjamin’s grave is in this Gray cemetery, along with his two wives and two of his sons. There’s also a Joseph Gray, his wife and two of his wife’s children from a prior marriage. A young girl, Mary Gray, who is somewhat of a mystery. And, John Colson. According to family tradition, John Colson’s wife is buried beside him in an unmarked grave. There are a total of eleven headstones, with death dates ranging from 1859 to 1934. All of these headstones have some connection to a Gray family. The known graves contained in the cemetery are:

Dempsey Gray

Dempsey Gray first shows up in census records in 1840⁽⁷⁾“United States Census, 1840,” database with images, FamilySearch (https://www.familysearch.org/ark:/61903/1:1:XHYJ-WDR : 30 September 2021), Dempsey Grey, Perquimans, North Carolina, United States; citing p. 356, NARA microfilm publication , (Washington D.C.: National Archives and Records Administration, n.d.), roll ; FHL microfilm . in Perquimans County, NC. His entry lists a single male, aged 20 to 30, and two females, one aged 30 to 40 and the other 10 to 15. Around the same time, there’s a marriage bond⁽⁸⁾“North Carolina, County Marriages, 1762-1979 ,” database with images, FamilySearch (https://familysearch.org/ark:/61903/1:1:QKJQ-Q11P : 9 March 2021), Dempsy Gray and Nancey Holt, 25 Feb 1840; citing Perquimans, North Carolina, United States, p. , North Carolina State Archives Division of Archives and History; FHL microfilm 296,828., dated 2/25/1840, for Dempsey Gray to marry Nancy Holt. This marriage bond also lists Daniel Gray. Court records show Thomas Pool, an orphan, was bound to Dempsey Gray as an indentured apprentice around February 1843⁽⁹⁾Perquimans County Minute Books, v.7-8 1827-1847. https://www.familysearch.org/ark:/61903/3:1:3QS7-99G4-SFSJ?cat=267294.

Dempsey Gray transferred two parcels of land in a Perquimans county land deed⁽¹⁰⁾Perquimans County Deeds, Vols. AA-BB 1841-1848. https://www.familysearch.org/ark:/61903/3:1:3QS7-99DK-GQ1H?i=688&cat=329240 , dated 2/14/1848, to Matthew Jordan. The two parcels of land were described as “being the land Samuel Holt conveyed to Nancy Holt” and “said Nancy held in her lifetime by herself from her father.” Nancy did not sign this deed and was not questioned regarding the transfer. It’s possible Nancy had died prior to this deed. Dempsey Gray may have had a brush with some sort of trouble around this time, as he had a peace warrant issued against him in 1848⁽¹¹⁾Perquimans County Minute Books, v. 9 1847-1858. https://www.familysearch.org/ark:/61903/3:1:3QS7-L9G4-9S4X-F?cat=267294.

In the 1850 census⁽¹²⁾“United States Census, 1850,” database with images, FamilySearch (https://www.familysearch.org/ark:/61903/1:1:M4BX-PKT : 24 December 2020), Dempsey Gray, Perquimans, North Carolina, United States; citing family , NARA microfilm publication (Washington, D.C.: National Archives and Records Administration, n.d.)., Dempsey Gray is living in Little River of Durants Neck District, with Charlotte Gray, John Colson and Lydia Gray. Dempsey and Charlotte are listed as Benjamin’s parents on his death certificate, but I cannot find any marriage record for Dempsey and Charlotte. John Colson is buried in the Gray cemetery described above. I have been unable to find Lydia Gray mentioned in any other records. Listed on the same page of the 1850 census is Mary Citizen, with Patsy, Polly and Millicia. Mary Citizen would later marry Joseph Gray and be buried in the Gray cemetery along with two of her daughters.

Part of Dempsey Gray’s probate record is included in the folder with Jacob Gray’s probate record⁽¹³⁾“North Carolina Estate Files, 1663-1979,” database with images, FamilySearch (https://familysearch.org/ark:/61903/1:1:KFSW-NWD : 8 March 2021), Jacob Gray, ; citing Perquimans, North Carolina, United States, State Archives, Raleigh; FHL microfilm 2,021,020.. There were no mentions of Dempsey in Jacob’s papers or vice versa so this could be explained as a filing error. The “Account of Sales and Inventory of the property of Dempsey Gray” was dated 11/25/1857 and included in Jacob’s folder. Joseph Gray is listed as purchasing multiple items from the sale of Dempsey’s estate.

Jacob Gray

There are two marriage bonds for Jacob Gray. The first from 1831⁽¹⁴⁾“North Carolina, County Marriages, 1762-1979 ,” database with images, FamilySearch (https://familysearch.org/ark:/61903/1:1:QKJQ-7MHH : 9 March 2021), Jacob Gray and Harriet Gordan, 13 Apr 1831; citing Perquimans, North Carolina, United States, p. , North Carolina State Archives Division of Archives and History; FHL microfilm 296,828. was for Jacob Gray and Harriet Gordon, while the second was in 1841⁽¹⁵⁾“North Carolina, County Marriages, 1762-1979 ,” database with images, FamilySearch (https://familysearch.org/ark:/61903/1:1:Q21R-8WPZ : 21 July 2021), Jacob Gray and Eliza Hunter, 19 Jan 1841; citing Perquimans, North Carolina, United States, p. , North Carolina State Archives Division of Archives and History; FHL microfilm . and for Jacob Gray and Eliza Hunter. In the 1840 census⁽¹⁶⁾“United States Census, 1840,” database with images, FamilySearch (https://www.familysearch.org/ark:/61903/1:1:XHYJ-W26 : 30 September 2021), Jacob Grey, Perquimans, North Carolina, United States; citing p. 357, NARA microfilm publication , (Washington D.C.: National Archives and Records Administration, n.d.), roll ; FHL microfilm ., Jacob Gray is listed with one male under age 5, one male aged 5-9, one male aged 30-39 and one female aged 30-39. Jacob Gray was ordered overseer of the road⁽¹⁷⁾Perquimans County Minute Books, v. 7-8 1827-1847. https://www.familysearch.org/ark:/61903/3:1:3QS7-99G4-SFQN?cat=267294 from what looks like Sughs Store to the Stone Landing, thought the document is hard to read. Jacob Grays administrator petitioned to sell Jacob’s real estate, being “fifteen acres situated in Durants Neck adjoining the lands of Janes Lee.” The administrator also stated “that he left not children nor heirs that this admr is aware of nor wife.” But, Jacob Gray is listed in the 1850 census mortality schedule⁽¹⁸⁾“United States Census (Mortality Schedule), 1850,” database with images, FamilySearch (https://familysearch.org/ark:/61903/3:1:S3HT-DH53-K5T?cc=1420441&wc=MFL8-22W%3A1036260601%2C1036328801%2C1036328802 : 1 April 2016), North Carolina > Perquimans > Perquimans county > image 2 of 3; citing NARA microfilm publication T655 (Washington, D.C.: National Archives and Records Administration, n.d.). as married. Jacob is listed as an insolvent on multiple occasions in the Minute books in the 1830s and 1840s.

Daniel Gray

Daniel Gray is listed in the 1840 census several entries below Dempsey. Daniel’s household shows five males and two females. The oldest male is aged 20 to 30, while the two females are aged 20 to 30 and 40 to 50. Several months after Dempsey’s marriage bond, another marriage bond⁽¹⁹⁾“North Carolina, County Marriages, 1762-1979 ,” database with images, FamilySearch (https://familysearch.org/ark:/61903/1:1:QKJQ-Q1P8 : 9 March 2021), Daniel Gray and Hariett Ivy, 20 May 1840; citing Perquimans, North Carolina, United States, p. , North Carolina State Archives Division of Archives and History; FHL microfilm 296,828. shows up, dated 5/20/1840, for Daniel Gray to marry Harriet Ivey. Daniel does not appear in any later records. But around November 1848, Caleb Gray and Edmond Gray were bound as indentured apprentices to Elkany Sawyer and Dempsey Gray respectively⁽²⁰⁾Perquimans County Minute Books, v. 9 1847-1858. https://www.familysearch.org/ark:/61903/3:1:3QS7-L9G4-9S48-C?cat=267294. Caleb and Edmond were listed as sons of Daniel Gray, but they are not listed as orphans. Daniel is also listed as an insolvent in the Minute books.

Joseph Gray

Joseph Gray, age 21, is listed in the 1850 census⁽²¹⁾“United States Census, 1850,” database with images, FamilySearch (https://www.familysearch.org/ark:/61903/1:1:M4BF-W5L : 24 December 2020), Joseph Gray, Perquimans, North Carolina, United States; citing family , NARA microfilm publication (Washington, D.C.: National Archives and Records Administration, n.d.). in Perquimans County, along with Richard Gray, age 18. Joseph and Richard were involved in a court case against Jas P Whedbee in 1849. In 1855, Joseph married Mary Citizen⁽²²⁾“North Carolina, County Marriages, 1762-1979 ,” database with images, FamilySearch (https://familysearch.org/ark:/61903/1:1:Q21R-YG68 : 21 July 2021), Joseph Greay and Mary Citizen, 13 Mar 1855; citing Perquimans, North Carolina, United States, p. , North Carolina State Archives Division of Archives and History; FHL microfilm .. They are living in Little River district, Perquimans County in the 1860 census⁽²³⁾“United States Census, 1860”, database with images, FamilySearch (https://familysearch.org/ark:/61903/1:1:MD6S-9R2 : 18 February 2021), Joseph Gray, 1860., along with Andrew Citizen and Milicia Citizen. In the 1880 Census⁽²⁴⁾“United States Census, 1880,” database with images, FamilySearch (https://www.familysearch.org/ark:/61903/1:1:MCXN-4PJ : 14 January 2022), Joseph Gray, New Hope, Perquimans, North Carolina, United States; citing enumeration district , sheet , NARA microfilm publication T9 (Washington, D.C.: National Archives and Records Administration, n.d.), FHL microfilm ., Joseph and Mary are living in New Hope, along with Malissa, Mary’s daughter, and Lizzie Moss, a boarder. Joseph’s headstone lists his death as 1884. In the 1900 Census⁽²⁵⁾“United States Census, 1900”, database with images, FamilySearch (https://www.familysearch.org/ark:/61903/1:1:MSBD-K1W : 22 January 2022), Mary Gray, 1900., Mary Gray is living in New Hope, with her daughter Malissa, several households away from Benjamin Gray.

Richard Gray

As mentioned above, Richard was listed with Joseph Gray in the 1850 census and a court case. There is a short probate record for Richard ⁽²⁶⁾“North Carolina Estate Files, 1663-1979,” database with images, FamilySearch (https://familysearch.org/ark:/61903/1:1:KFSW-NWF : 8 March 2021), Richard Gray, ; citing Perquimans, North Carolina, United States, State Archives, Raleigh; FHL microfilm 2,021,020., with an inventory and account of sales dated 2/23/1857. The account of sales for Richard Gray shows that Joseph Gray was present and purchased items.

Other Grays in the Neighborhood

There were other Gray men in the Durants Neck district in the early to mid 1800s, whom I haven’t been able to connect to the cemetery.

Caleb Gray

Caleb Gray appears in Perquimans county in the 1820 census⁽²⁷⁾“United States Census, 1820,” database with images, FamilySearch (https://www.familysearch.org/ark:/61903/1:1:XHL3-YGX : accessed 8 April 2022), Caleb Gray, Perquimans, North Carolina, United States; citing p. , NARA microfilm publication , (Washington D.C.: National Archives and Records Administration, n.d.), roll ; FHL microfilm . with three young children. Next, he appears in the 1826 Perquimans militia roll⁽²⁸⁾1826 Perquimans County Militia Roll. http://perqtax.homestead.com/files/militia1826hollowell4.jpg in Captain Benjamin Tom’s company. In the 1830 census⁽²⁹⁾“United States Census, 1830,” database with images, FamilySearch (https://familysearch.org/ark:/61903/1:1:XHPD-GK6 : 20 February 2021), Caleb Gray, Perquimans, North Carolina, United States; citing 118, NARA microfilm publication M19, (Washington D.C.: National Archives and Records Administration, n.d.), roll 124; FHL microfilm 18,090., there are seven children under the age of 15 living with him. Based on the age of the oldest male, he was born in the 1790s. He does not appear in any other census records.

Elizabeth Gray

Elizabeth Gray appears in the 1830 census ⁽³⁰⁾“United States Census, 1830,” database with images, FamilySearch (https://familysearch.org/ark:/61903/1:1:XHPD-P7G : 20 February 2021), Elizabeth Gray, Perquimans, North Carolina, United States; citing 125, NARA microfilm publication M19, (Washington D.C.: National Archives and Records Administration, n.d.), roll 124; FHL microfilm 18,090., with three children under the age of 10, one male aged 15-20 and a female aged 30-40.

Howell Gray

Howell Gray is another Gray mentioned in the minute books, showing up on the Durants Neck insolvents list for several years. There is a marriage bond, dated 11/13/1839, for Howell Gray and Clarkey Gorden⁽³¹⁾“North Carolina, County Marriages, 1762-1979 ,” database with images, FamilySearch (https://familysearch.org/ark:/61903/1:1:Q21R-RFN6 : 21 July 2021), Howell Gray and Clarkey Gorden, 13 Nov 1839; citing Perquimans, North Carolina, United States, p. , North Carolina State Archives Division of Archives and History; FHL microfilm .. In the 1840 census⁽³²⁾“United States Census, 1840,” database with images, FamilySearch (https://www.familysearch.org/ark:/61903/1:1:XHYJ-WT4 : 30 September 2021), Homer Grey, Perquimans, North Carolina, United States; citing p. 366, NARA microfilm publication , (Washington D.C.: National Archives and Records Administration, n.d.), roll ; FHL microfilm ., Howell is listed with a 20-30 year old male and a 15-20 year old female.

Isaac Gray

There was a marriage bond issued on 4/2/1789 for Isaac Gray and Sarah Holland⁽³³⁾“North Carolina, County Marriages, 1762-1979 ,” database with images, FamilySearch (https://familysearch.org/ark:/61903/1:1:QKJQ-7MW3 : 9 March 2021), Isaac Gray and Sarah Holland, 02 Apr 1789; citing Perquimans, North Carolina, United States, p. , North Carolina State Archives Division of Archives and History; FHL microfilm 296,828.. Shortly after this, Isaac appears in the 1790 census⁽³⁴⁾United States Census, 1790. https://www.familysearch.org/ark:/61903/1:1:XHK1-PJ6 with 1 male aged over 16, 1 male under 16 and two females.

Laney (Lavey?) Gray

Laney, or Lavey, Gray shows up in the probate records in 1839⁽³⁵⁾“North Carolina Estate Files, 1663-1979,” database with images, FamilySearch (https://familysearch.org/ark:/61903/1:1:KFSW-NW6 : 8 March 2021), Lavey Gray, ; citing Perquimans, North Carolina, United States, State Archives, Raleigh; FHL microfilm 2,021,020.

Nathan Gray

While not confirmed to be in Durants Neck, Nathan Gray, an orphan, was bound as an apprentice to Edward Sutton in 1840⁽³⁶⁾Perquimans County Minute Books, v. 7-8 1827-1848. https://www.familysearch.org/ark:/61903/3:1:3QS7-99G4-SFQQ?i=334&cat=267294.

Open Questions

Dempsey, Joseph, Jacob, Richard and Daniel Gray were living in the same vicinity, and were all born between about 1810 to 1830. Are they related, possibly brothers?
Could they be the children of Caleb Gray?
Who is Mary Gray, 1857-1863?
Over time, who were the different owners of the land containing the Gray cemetery?
Could Dempsey Gray also be buried in the Gray cemetery?